To Live Again

To Change or Not To Change?

2010-05-28T07:37:00.001+08:00

What's keeping you from venturing into the new world? Habits or fear? Surely it must not be habits. Habits can be re-learned. It is always fear that keeps us from reaching out ...

Nobody but you have the power to change your thoughts, emotions and actions. You know very well that everything in your own life is your own choice and choosing.

However, in truth, we still can't deny the influence of others in our lives. We need to be very clear what are the credentials of the influencing force and who is the force.

We can't improve ourselves if we choose to remain the same all the time. If we are not willing to change for the better, then, we lost control of the better things in our lives.

Rising Above Storms of Life

2010-05-16T14:57:00.001+08:00

Recently I read an article on how eagles depend on strong winds of the storms to soar above the storms. Eagles know how to use storms to lift it higher, so that they would not be hit in any storm.

All of us experience personal storms in our life. Whether big or small storms, we come to understand that these are challenges we have to face in our life. Some storms are able to lift us up, yet there are storms that we dare not brave through.

Understanding that storms in our life are helping us to grow out of our comfort zone is not easy. It takes us time to realize that growth from challenges is what life is about. When one does understand that, he will be able to rise above the winds of storms that brings all sort of disappointment in his life.

How we handle the storms in our life is very important. We must always be ready and face these storms calmly. Accept that there is a purpose in every challenge. Gather all your energy to soar above the storm and overcome the challenge!

To Plan or Not to Plan

2010-05-04T05:54:00.001+08:00

I went away for a two week excursion/vacation with some friends. I would admit, if it's not because of this friend who took the pain to plan and do researches for the places we would be going, the holidays would be in vain.

Yes, it is true not everyone would be pleased with what were planned, but at least there would be somewhere to go and something to be done if a plan went awry. Therefore, I was grateful with her careful and detailed planning.

Life needs to be planned carefully too. We are going to an unknown journey with more than ten years ahead. If we just walk on unplanned, we will end up nowhere, without any destination to be sure. It's just like sailing on a ship guided by the wind.

For some people, unknown journeys are adventures. Yet the truth is ... these journeys are a waste of time and effort. We all have limited time on Earth, to live as we want. We do not know when the time is up or when we would face another misadventure. We don't want to end up as disappointments to our family and friends, do we?

It doesn't take long to plan. Planning for every day is the first step to plan for tomorrow. There will always be new things to be discovered, new lessons to be learnt and new people to be met. Everything is up to us... to you; how you want your life to be ....

A good planning takes you a long way .... even though you have only 24 hours a day!

To Fail is to Start Over Again

2009-11-22T21:46:00.008+08:00

There are so many wise sayings about how we must start again after a failure. Yes, nobody stays as a loser all the time. Even a loser wins once a while.

An acquaintance once failed in his own business. He used up all his savings to start new businesses, one after another. These businesses failed too.

He almost gave up when a friend of his offered him a job as a franchise adviser. As he had a family to support, he accepted the offer. He made lots of mistakes when he started the job. Other younger franchise advisers thought he was eccentric and avoided him altogether.

He tried various means to get himself ready for the challenges of the job. He practically memorized the handbook and all the information given to him. He was in desperate trying to do well.

The toil was really stressful. He lost his humor and friendly smile. He stared at everyone with an empty glare. He did not know what went wrong with him. His boss was happy as he could bring in more customers than usual. His family was happy as he could bring home money. Yet, he was not happy.

One day his young daughter borrowed a story book from the town library. She left it on the dinner table. He picked it up and browse through it. He was amused with the simple story. However, he was attracted by a line at the end of the story ......

"If you have failed, then start over again. After all, failing means you have a good chance to come clean again."

This acquaintance smiled for the first time in three years. It was like his mind was cleared for the first time in years. He bought the franchise for himself and became a business owner again. Only this time, he knew he could always begin all over again as long as he did not give up hope.

Which would you choose: start all over again or mourn over your losses?

Secrets of The Millionaire Mind

2009-07-29T12:11:00.003+08:00

06_-_Secrets_of_the_Millionaire_Mind.mp3

Be Grateful

2009-07-07T04:15:00.002+08:00

be-grateful.mp3

Self Reliance Part 3

2009-07-03T21:45:00.003+08:00

Self_Reliance_-_Part_3.mp3

Self Reliance Part 2

2009-07-03T21:44:00.007+08:00

Self_Reliance_-_Part_2.mp3

Self Reliance Part 1

2009-07-03T21:44:00.006+08:00

Self_Reliance_-_Part_1.mp3

Authentic Happiness

2009-06-08T12:53:00.002+08:00

Authentic_Happiness.mp3

Search for Meaning

2009-06-08T12:42:00.002+08:00

Man_s_Search_for_Meaning.mp3

Overachievement

2009-05-24T21:45:00.002+08:00

Overachievement_1.mp3

So, Another Failure – Get Better or Bitter?

2009-05-06T09:03:00.004+08:00

Many people have forgotten that failures occurred because they have not prepared themselves extensively for the tasks. Whether it is business, family or personal, every matter needs planning. Maybe the masters were right after all, 'If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.'

We just do not fail accidentally. There must be certain reasons behind the failures.

Moaning for a past failure seems to be an endless game we like to play with ourselves. We ought to feel bitter because we fail, yet to allow the bitterness to get into our lives is totally another story. When will we get the chance to move on if the past keeps on catching up with the present?

There are many ways to make ourselves feel better. One of them is to walk out of the bitterness. Analyze the reasons why you failed, if you must. Then forget all about it. The sun is still going to rise again tomorrow. There is no reason to feel bitter.

Life is hard enough without you brooding about your failures. People are failing every minute of the day. Yet, they pick up where they failed and start over again. It does not matter if you walk three steps forward but move two steps backwards; because you are still a step forward! Bravo!

Learn your lessons and know where you are heading!

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Who are you – the listener or the talker?

2009-04-15T10:50:00.005+08:00

When I was young, I listened to every grown-up I met. My parents said children ought to listen more than talk. I took the advice by heart. I listened politely as the grown-ups rattled on and on. Some of their stories were quite interesting. However, some just loved to complain.

Growing up, I came to understand the value of ‘more listening than talking’. A listener learns more than the speaker. Listening helps us to discern between right and wrong. The rule of ‘two ears and a mouth’ means that we must listen twice more than we talk. A good listener is actually a silent flatterer.

What did succesful people do that made them instoppable?

No guessing. They listened. They listened to know what others want. They listened carefully to every complain they received. They did not once make any comment or criticism because they did not have to. They showed to others that they cared because they listened. They learned what others missed.

A talker likes to listen to his own voice. The louder he talks, he lonier he will be. In the end, the has landed himself in hot soup! It is just like a child would say, “When you open your mouth too long, your brains will fly out!”

Learn from the wise owl :

A wise old owl sat on an oak,

The more he saw the less he spoke,

The less he spoke the more he heard,

Why aren’t we like that wise old owl?

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The 80_20 principle

2009-03-22T15:12:00.001+08:00

The_80_20_Principle_1.mp3

Constructive Living

2009-03-09T09:58:00.002+08:00

Constructive_Living.mp3

Thus Spoke

2009-03-09T06:57:00.001+08:00

Thus_Spoke_Zarathustra.mp3

Ask and It Is Given

2009-03-09T06:55:00.001+08:00

Ask_and_It_Is_Given.mp3

A New Earth

2009-03-09T06:29:00.001+08:00

A_New_Earth.mp3

Loving What Is

2009-02-12T23:44:00.002+08:00

Loving_What_Is_1.mp3

Handle Discouragement Effectively (4)

2009-02-12T17:48:00.003+08:00

Whenever we face discouragement, we often have low expectations of ourselves to overcome our problems. Thus, we often neglect to find the solution to our problems. Instead, we delay and drag the problem to another level.

Having and possessing the right expectations is important. A positive person often sets realistic goals for himself. He does not waste his time reflecting on his mistakes should he fails. He forgives himself for his limitations and moves on with his life as soon as possible.

He knows what to expect because he only focus on what he can achieve. Thus, he is not disappointed if he fails. He is not depressed, anxious and obsessed with the ‘need to impress others’.

You too, can handle your own discouragement. A right expectation can help you to achieve what you want in life. Set for yourself realistic goals at first. Identify what you can achieve and what you cannot.

Later, you can set some daring and unrealistic goals. By then, you have possessed a better attitude to handle failures.

10 Easy Steps To Turn Dreams Into Reality

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Handle Discouragement Effectively (3)

2009-01-22T10:25:00.003+08:00

Positive Self Talk

Do you talk to yourself? Are those messages positive or negative? How do you feel after listening to your own negative messages?

What you say to yourself when you feel discourage is going affect your thoughts. When you start listening to your own negative self-talk, you will end up believing that you are a failure. This will become a major discouragement!

We all have a habit to allow our past to catch up on us. When that happens, we tend to slow down and allow negative thoughts to control us. Thus, we do not feel positive about our future.

Saying the right things to yourself will help you to think positively and cultivate a positive attitude towards people and circumstances around you. Find the phrases and words that you feel comfortable with.

Be reminded, as you are self-talking; you need to choose words and phrases that are positively motivating. This is so to motivate yourself to a positive direction.

Beyond The Limits

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Know Your Purpose

2009-01-21T23:48:00.002+08:00

Do you have a purpose?

Download this recorded audio and listen what the expert says about having a purpose

Know your purpose

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Handle Discouragement Effectively (2)

2009-01-08T12:04:00.003+08:00

Who would you rather be with? A good friend who whines and complains of every good and bad time or an acquaintance who enlightens you with new knowledge? Do you know who successful people like to be with? Yes, they like to be with people who encourage and enlighten them.

One method to handle discouragement is to be with the right people. Be with the people who make you feel good about yourself. These people are able to lift you up and cheer you along the way. In short, they are the ones who greet you and wait patiently for your reply.

These people are all around you. Identify them fast. They have great attitudes toward life. They do not blame others for the discouragements or failures they face in their lives. They believe that there is a bend in every road; and after the bend, there are new opportunities.

Be with them and be like them...

Focus 2009

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Winning Attitude for 2009

2009-01-03T23:24:00.003+08:00

Listen and Change

Rx4WinningAttitude.mp3

Handle Discouragement Effectively (1)

2009-01-03T00:11:00.003+08:00

Some people see discouragement as temporary. They believe that the feeling will go away very soon. They know how to handle this feeling so that they are able to bounce back from nearly anything.

How can you deal with discouragement?

You need to possess the right perspective.

Look at the problem as an outsider and identify the fault or weakness. Stop mourning for the drawback. When you recognize the problem, focus on the solution.

If you believe there is no solution to the problem, do something positive. Instead of blaming yourself or others for the failure, go on with your life. Try to discover your own opportunities by studying other successful people. Successful people do not stop long to wonder why they failed. They bounced back easily because of their great attitudes.

There are positive possibilities even in negative circumstances. It is always a matter of knowing where to look at. You do not need a full glass of water to quench your thirst when a half glass of water is enough. Adopt a right perspective to find your opportunities.

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Foster A Good Relationship with Yourself

2008-12-15T01:20:00.008+08:00

Before you set goals for yourself, you need to know yourself first. To know yourself, you need to foster a relationship with yourself. You need to rediscover your true self.

How do you cultivate such a relationship?

1. Take some to reflect on what you really want for yourself.

2. Reflect on your likes and dislikes.

3. Reflect on your habits (Accept the good, discard the bad)

4. Reflect on your thought (Deny negative thoughts, build on the positive ones)

5. Accept the responsibility of all the wrongs you did in the past.

6. Recognize your existence and your place in this world.

7. Accept yourself as who you really are.

8. Trust yourself and your abilities.

9. Treat yourself well (As how you would treat someone you love very much!)

10. Be honest and truthful to yourself.

11. Break down the ‘limitations’ that you have built around you.

It does take time to for you to build your own reputation for yourself. Once you have accepted you as you, you have to take care of this relationship. It is much more difficult than caring for a relationship with someone you love.

Successful people have good relationship with themselves. That is why they thrive in everything they do. They know themselves very well.

Well, you can do many things to make your life better. However, the most basic action for you now is to foster a good relationship with yourself. You will see that things will improve gradually.

Boost Your Self Esteem

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Stop Keep Wishing You’re Someone Else

2008-10-26T12:29:00.004+08:00

Have you wished that you are ………? It is not something to be ashamed of. Every one of us has been wishing we are someone else, once a while.

It is not so healthy to your mind and soul to think that you are someone else everyday. When are you going to be yourself?

If you live your life as someone else, you would never have the chance to do what you want to do! You have to live up to the expectation of other people.

See what you have wasted if you keep wishing you are someone else every day:

- Time (wasting time to dream about things you do not have)

- Goals (have to adopt someone else’s goals)

- Effort (waste effort to realize other people’s goals)

- Money (waste money to keep up a lifestyle you cannot afford)

Finally, when you finally wake up to your own senses, ……. You’re aged! Your excuse for not able to achieve your own dreams is …… “I’m too old for that!”

So, live for your own true self, now!

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Dare To Be Different

2008-10-19T16:59:00.008+08:00

When I was growing up, the slogan ‘Dare To Be Different’ was very popular. Back then, my teenage friends liked to hang out together and they were often seen wearing T-shirts with the same slogan splashed boldly on the front and back! I was the only one who seldom wanted to hang out with them ……. All because I was different!

These days, when you are considered as different, you are treated as one different person altogether. People will brand you names. Parents will forbid their children to go near you. Sometimes, even your own family members will think that you are weird! However, the truth is, there is nothing to lose to be different!

To ponder: Why people choose to be different from the crowd?

The answer is, of course

- They make choices and possibilities to expand every day.

- They have the courage to face the fears and go beyond the fears that bound them.

- They look forward with enthusiasm to the day ahead.

- They have the strength to overcome all challenges.

- They acknowledge their own creativity and power of imagination.

- They took responsibility for their thoughts and actions.

- They trust their own ability to create abundance.

- They recognize their true self-worth.

You can also choose to be different. Nobody can stop you. Life cannot stop you too. Instead, your life is waiting for you to be different from other people's!

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Am I a Failure?

2008-10-05T13:56:00.005+08:00

Yes you are, because your self-concept says so. Be serious! Your self-concept is very important.

When you start being suspicious of your abilities, your self-concept is not strong. You expect failures!

In every task you are assigned, remember that people expect you to fail. You may not think that way, but it is true. Behind that sweet smile, behind that 'I can count on you' look, there is the 'you are a failure' thought.

Well, it is up to you to form your own self concept. You set your own ceilings. When you think you are a failure, you will fail. No matter how much effort you have put in the task.

The task here is, can you readjust your self image again? You still have many choices because life is about options. Being alive is an option. Expecting failure is another option. Since you can choose to fail, you can easily choose to succeed too.

When you have failed (because you have expected it, remember), do not go around and repeat this phrase "Who? Me? A Failure?" Yes, you are because you wanted and begged for it.

Your self concept is low and you expect only failures. Being humble is good. But, being too humble is a waste of your living effort!

So, recompose your self concept again..... No ceiling is too high but any ceiling can be too low!

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Could Have, Might Have, Should Have

2008-10-02T16:04:00.003+08:00

'Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions; could have, might have and should have.' - Louis Boone

Isn't that just any normal man would describe himself?
I could have .....
I might have .....
I should have ......

However, when one starts to live in these unrealized thoughts, one will never move forward. Yes, indeed failures make us nobody. Living in failure only reminds us that we could have, might have and should ..... but never really have had!

Start living in reality. Do things you want to do. Many people fail everyday. There are many still who made it. You will too, if you start doing something positive instead of lamenting what you 'could have, might have and should have' IF you are successful!

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Think Small, and You’ll Never Be BIG!

2008-09-23T13:16:00.003+08:00

Someone said that at a seminar sometime ago. Everybody laughed when they heard the statement.

Reflecting on our dreams, the statement sums it all. When we think of achieving only small dreams, we will never make it big! We may be successful, but only small successes which nobody notices at all!

Check your goals again. Are they simple goals?

If so, maybe you will need to reset some of your small goals to make them seem 'impossible'. By doing so, you will need to dig deep into your resources to get things done!

Think big if you want to attain the 'impossible'. All things ‘impossible’ are achieved when people started to think creatively.

Creative thinking means going for the bigger dreams where ‘impossible’ is a word not imprinted in our dictionaries!

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Know What You Expect From Life

2008-09-06T14:48:00.003+08:00

All of us expect something from life. We expect good health, prosperity, happiness, wealth and other fulfillment in life. Yet, most of the time, we are not so confident that we will receive them.

What have you put into your life that you expect to receive from it?
You cannot expect success just because someone told you a formula. You need to put the formula to use. You need to revise and improvise the formula until it truly became yours. You need to put in lots of efforts and hard-work. Then, you can sit back and expect success!

Although it is true when people say, ‘What you see is what you get’; you can still defy the saying. You can become better than the person you are now. You deserve better than you think.

If you anticipate other people to respect you; then, start doing something that will make them have a high opinion of you. It is imperative that only YOU alone know what you really expect from life.

You are the input and outcome of your own life!

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Stop Complaining, Do Something!

2008-08-27T10:15:00.002+08:00

Have you been complaining lately? Well, complaining isn’t going to solve your problems.

Maybe, it is time for you to listen to your own grievances too. If you listen carefully, you will find that your complaints are all about other people. If you listen again, you will find that you have been complaining repeatedly about the same thing. Time flies, yet, nothing changes.

Face it. Many times, you are the only one who can solve your own problems. So, you have to take action! The first step is very important and it should come from you!

Check your complaints:

What are you complaining about?
Have you been complaining repeated about the same thing?
Do you know who you have been complaining to?
Can the person(s) really help you?
Have you taken any positive move to solve your complaints?
Why have you not made the move yet?

Do something now! You are accountable for your own life and happiness!

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Winning is not the Answer

2008-08-19T11:03:00.004+08:00

When there is a race going on, there will be losers. Prizes are given to the top three winners. However, even the second and third winners are not happy with their positions.

Everyone wants to be the first. If you are an athlete, you will be told that winning is everything. Instant fame and rich offers are waiting for you.

To a real winner, the route is full of obstacles. There are many ‘shorter cuts’ to success. There are also various tempting ‘opportunities’ along the way. If the winner has the prize in his mind all the time, he will reach the finishing in a good time and proudly take away the prize.

However, life is not just about winning. There are other people around us who care for us and whom we like to return the same affection. There are also people who had helped us in the past that we would like to return the kindness. There are also many things we would like to do now, not after we reached the finishing line.

Remember that, winning is not everything. Your fame is just a minute-long history. There will be winners after you. Nobody remembers you except those who love you.

Take some time out now and pay more attention to what you need to do. Spend more time with your loved ones. You have won more than anything else by doing so!

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Be Aware of Your Thoughts

2008-07-23T12:08:00.004+08:00

Someone said, we have a new thought every minute of the day. Yes, if we are awake for 18 hours a day, that will make a total of 18 hours X 60 minutes = 10,800 thoughts. That is only for one day!

Yet, what will these thoughts bring to us? Are you aware of your own thoughts? Have you created the environment you want through your thoughts?

Your thoughts unfortunately, dictate your emotional state of mind. Your thoughts also decide the path you will follow.

When your thoughts are negatives, you will not feel happy at all. This will be reflected in your actions, reactions as well as the follow-up thoughts. You will also hurt people around you.

All motivators promote positive thinking. Positive thoughts promote positive actions and create healthy environment for you and people around you.

However, these are just thought. You can choose to pursue them or just leave them alone! You have the choice.

But, always be aware of your thoughts … and think positively all the time!

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Identify and Conquer Your Stumbling Blocks

2008-07-06T10:08:00.001+08:00

Stumbling blocks are a lot easier to be conquered if you can identify them beforehand. No matter how big that stumbling block can be, get pass it as soon as possible. Do not spend your time complaining and cursing as that would not help at all.

How do you know you are blocked?

When you cannot see yourself reaping any result from the hard work you thought you have put in. Take a step back. Trace where you have go wrong. No, do not blame anyone, not even yourself. Things will not be better even if there is a scapegoat.

Most of the time, you yourself is the stumbling block. You have too many ideals in life. You put very high expectations on every thing you do, and in everyone who works with you. For you, a failure is the end of everything.

See the point? Get over it. Should you fail to find out what is blocking you, stop looking. Time is too precious to be wasted for that. Start again. You are conquering your own weakness by doing so!

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Confront Your Setbacks

2008-06-19T16:29:00.004+08:00

Setbacks are not permanent. However, you need to recover from the shocking defeat fast. There is no need to hide away for a long time. When you feel down, you will not try to do anything. That is sad.

People will only applause when they see you have achieved something. Nobody cares the setbacks you have had before the success. So, nobody cares to ask.

It is always good to confront your setbacks. By then you will know where you have gone wrong. Then, start again, fresh!

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Be In Control

2008-06-15T16:58:00.003+08:00

Do you know that your surroundings have no control over you? Things do not control you. Other people do not control you. You are one and the only who can control yourself.

What can you control?
- Your emotions
- Your attitudes
- Your inner dialogues.
- Your thoughts
- Your food intake
- Your desires
You cannot control others, so it is better to control yourself. Do not allow other people to control you too because you will lose your independence by doing so.

If you do not start doing something to control yourself, someone is going to do so soon!

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Impossible is Just a Word

2008-06-08T12:09:00.004+08:00

When someone told you it is impossible to accomplish something, remember that ‘impossible’ is just a word. It does not reflect your inability. Do not allow that one word to stop you from your visions and missions.

I found this to share:

The man who misses all the fun

is he who says’ “It can’t be done.”

In solemn pride he stands aloof

and greets each venture with reproof.

Had he the power, he’d efface

the history of human race.

We would have no radio, no motorcar,

No street lit by electric stars,

No telegraph or telephone.

We’d linger in the age of stone.

the world would sleep if things were run

by men who say. “It can’t be done!”

Anonymous

The next time you hear someone says the word ‘impossible’ to you, remind yourself; “I’m possible”! Because when you believe in your abilities, everything can be done!

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Find the Solutions for Your Problems

2008-06-06T15:37:00.002+08:00

You have problems. So does everyone else. We all face with problems every single day in our lives. The solution here is not to run away and hide.

If your problems seem to big and overwhelming, get some help. It is not easy to solve all the problems at once. So, do so one by one; a step at a time. Break down your problems. Some of them are just small ones which only need a little of your attention. Solve these problems first.

Some problems can wait. Find the solutions before they become your nightmares. When a problem stays unsolved too long, it will not disappear. Instead, it will be haunting you and your mind. You will be in constant fear. Your health and life may be under tremendous pressure.

Confront your problems as soon as possible. Solutions or ideas do not grow on trees. Do not wait until next month to do so!

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Employ Positive Self Talk Consistently

2008-05-20T11:45:00.003+08:00

Self talking is way to rearrange your thoughts. Never be ashamed that you need to talk to yourself.

Successful personalities all over the world use positive self-talk to help them to move on. They encourage themselves, give themselves surprises and presents as forms of positive self support. When they face problems, they do not falter easily. Their positive self-talk give them much confidence and prod them to move forward bravely.

Consistent positive self talk can help you, even when others leave you alone to struggle in what you believe in. Tell yourself consistently that you are able to solve a problem. Tell yourself that you are able to do what others could.

Believe in your abilities positively. Believe what you want others to believe about you. Positive self-talking will change your perception of yourself.

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Stop Pretending You Don't Have A Problem

2008-05-10T11:38:00.005+08:00

Everyone has problems. Problems never stop knocking on our doors, unlike opportunities. Yet, we all like to pretend that we do not have any problems. We just prefer the carefree life. Are you one of ‘us’?

Well, pretending that problem does not exist is not going to chase the problem away. Once there is a problem, you need to face it. Nobody can teach you how to solve a problem. Every problem has its own level of difficulty. You need to be resourceful to solve it.

All right, get some help if you want. But, you need to solve it before moving on. Procrastination is not going to solve the problem. Do not wait till the problem becomes a large part of your life as by then you will lose all your strength and purpose for life itself.

Solve your problems as soon as possible!

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Accept Failures and Forget About Them

2008-04-27T21:22:00.003+08:00

You may laugh or maybe swear when you read this post. But, it is true. Only a failure will always look back and be reminded of the sad episode of his life.

Life is a journey to be appreciated. Lingering too long in the past and unhappy moments will only stop you from moving forward. So, accept the failures.

Forget those failures. Leave them behind you. Acknowledging you have failed the moment creates new energy and strength for you to face the next moment. Learn from the unhappy moments.

Life is not just a bed of roses! Life can be a bed of jasmines or chrysanthemums too!

Move forward!

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Value Your Gifts

2008-04-08T15:06:00.004+08:00

Everyone is born with some kinds of gifts or talents. Everyone has something different than the next person.

Some people discover their talents early, but many do not. Sometimes, you were told that you have talents in certain areas of your lives. So, with that, you focused on those gifts and you made things happened.

Yet, it may be that nobody discovers your talents and gifts. You just do what you think you are good at. Yes, that is enough. That is your gift.

Do it over and over again. You will find more blessings as you carry on. Be grateful you can do something!

Value what you have. Count your blessing all the time!

Remember That You Have Done it Before

2008-03-31T11:30:00.002+08:00

Have you tried to do something but failed? Many people would not dare to try at all because they are afraid of failure. Nobody is immune from failures. It will happen to anyone.

Doing something for yourself is a serious thing. You want to get the result of the deed. That was why you do it.

Remember, people see you as ‘doing’ and not ‘trying’! ‘Trying’ is either an effort or just an intention. ‘Doing’ actually brings you closer to what you want. ‘Trying’ keeps you away because of fear of failure.

Even if you failed, you have done something!

Say “I’m Sorry” Willingly

2008-03-21T12:26:00.002+08:00

Pride makes a person refuses to utter these two simple words.

You know you are wrong when you are wrong, so own up. Excuses cannot replace these two words – “I’m sorry”.

Say it willingly and sincerely, many times if need to. You have to put pride aside to seek after the ‘peace’ you need in your heart.

Look At What Is Still To Be

2008-03-14T14:07:00.002+08:00

Stop looking at what might have been, should have been, or could have been. Doing that will cost you your precious time.

If a broken heart occurred, let it be. If a failure happened, let it be. Hanging onto thoughts like ‘what might have been, should have been, or could have been’ are like trying to mend the walls of Jericho.

Look around you, there are still many things going on for you. The world is still a beautiful place to live in.

Stop grumbling, and move forward!

Turn Your Scars into Stars

2008-03-06T10:52:00.003+08:00

All of us have very scars, mementos from our unhappy past. Scars are ugly, and they stuck on year after year, refused to go away even after some major ‘plastic surgery’.

Our scars tell how strong we are, for having to wade through those horrible times that may not be meant for someone else. You may cover scars on you face or body, but that is no way to cover the scars in heart. These scars either make you or break you! Let the scars be your experience. Let them be our guiding stars!

Forgive and Forget

2008-03-01T15:36:00.000+08:00

Some once told me, “Forgive them who wronged you, but forget not what they did!” I thought it will be a good thing to remember what that someone did, even though I forgave them. However, it is not the same.

To forgive means to wipe out all memory of the wrongs people did. They are now on the same level as you. It is very difficult for anyone to admit that they have forgotten. But that is the sweetest revenge! Imagine the person’s face when he/she is told that you have forgotten what happened in the past, all his/her effort was wasted for nothing!

These days, I practice forgiving and forgetting the past. I learn to forget the events and eventually the people as well. So, now I live as happily as I want.

Don’t be angry if I don’t recognize you one day!

Never Give Up Yourself

2008-02-28T10:37:00.003+08:00

Once you give up yourself, nothing will come true. If you stay on, at least you will see hope. When you give up the little hope you have, you have nothing left. Light appears after the darkest hour passes; however, the light would never appear again if you give up during your darkest hour.

Do What You Love

2008-02-22T09:42:00.003+08:00

Do what you love and love what you do. Nothing beats the feeling and emotion that come with it. There is nothing we cannot do if we love what we are doing. The passion, time and effort spent are worthwhile.

If the first time failed, there is still another chance, and many more after that. There are always ways to improve. As you love what you do, you would not mind doing it more than once. That is where the improvements come in.

Loving what we do is very important. Sometimes, we can see some people around us doing what they describe as ‘hobbies’. Yet, they do not expect any monetary rewards from their labor of love.

Even if you do not like what you are doing now, you can still put in a little effort to do it well. Doing a work well will make you feel better and happier. Putting a little effort into a work will make you feel satisfied. Putting in a little passion in the work will produce better result. There would be chances that you will like the work after doing it many times!

Unless you love what you do, you should consider doing something else!

Read a Joke ... Laugh It Out

2008-02-15T11:44:00.003+08:00

Have you read any jokes lately? Or, have you been too busy to spare yourself a joke or two every day?

Jokes are made up to give us the needed break from the monotonous of our daily work. Jokes put a grin on our face. Others may not know it, but you will feel better after reading a joke.

If there is nobody around, then you should laugh out loud! I always do that. I do feel better after that, even though I have lots of problems waiting to be solved. Nothing beats the light feeling in my chest as I laugh. I can also feel that everything is going to be all right again.

With the advance of technology, it is not difficult to find a joke to read. There are telcos that offer subscriptions to daily jokes, right to your mobile gadgets!

Read a joke, and if you still feel unhappy, then read more. There is at least a joke that can put a smile on your face again.

Stop Using the Word ‘TRY’

2008-02-14T12:18:00.002+08:00

This is a very common word – TRY.

“I’ll try doing that later.”

“I’ll try to wash this.”

“I’ll try to ……”

These are some very common sentences we hear utter by people around us, including ourselves, consciously or unconsciously.

This ‘try’ word always comes with words like ‘later’, ‘tomorrow’, ‘next time’ or words that denote afterward, not now. This then follows by procrastination.

Whatever goals we have set for ourselves are not achieved because our excuses are summarized into a single word …. ‘try’- we are just ‘trying’. We would not be disappointed even if we did not do anything at all. Everything is so simple when we use the word ‘try’!

If you are going to say, “I’ll try to stop using ‘try’.” You will end up trying many times and there will be no stop at all. Just say, “I’ll stop using that word.” Period. That is one less word to say!

Discard Your Self Pity

2008-02-13T09:36:00.001+08:00

When we are weak, we bundle ourselves into a state of self pity. This is the worst kind of addiction anyone can be addicted to. Self pity makes us numb to the exuberance of lives around us. At this time, creativity is dead. Our lives just stop moving forward at that moment.

I would not describe in detail the state of self-pity here. Enough to say that it is not going to make us feel proud of ourselves.

Now, it is time to discard our self pity. It is time we learn to laugh at our mistakes and start all over again. Nobody grows under extreme pathetic situation. Learn to walk out of it, a small step at a time, but with strong steadfast steps.

To be ‘whole’ you again, you have to move on with your life.

Stop Being A Victim

2008-02-10T10:37:00.001+08:00

We are victims of our own doings and thoughts. We are living in fear as victims.

Victims are always afraid of rejections, as if being rejected means they are worthless. Some of the victims even take it so personally that they lost their lives’ direction.

To avoid rejection, a victim chooses not to ask. Even if he has good intention to do something, he does not ask favours from others. A victim always has a superstitious fear of rejections.

Today, we are going to step out. We are going to make requests and ask favours from people around us. We must accept the fact that people may not be able to fulfill our requests. There are people who will say ‘no’ to us. However, these are not rejections.

Sometimes, our requests are just too ‘impossible’ for them!

So, go out and stop being a victim. Make requests and be thrilled even if the answers are ‘no’!

Stop Being Weak

2008-01-29T11:48:00.001+08:00

We are all weak, sometimes. However, we need to stop being weak. Weakness can cause us many problems. Other people can see the weaken us, but we can’t.

As weaklings, we limited and restricted ourselves to many possibilities because we thought we couldn’t do them. This situation also inappropriately restricted our self-confidence and self-respect. Gradually, we lost without any fight.

Stop being weak, as we only have one life. We are responsible for every bit of our life. We don’t live for others to see. We live for ourselves. We are our own testifiers.

Be my own ‘Owner’

2008-01-27T11:22:00.000+08:00

My recent readings brought me to a new term -- ‘owner’. I am the owner of my life. Better still, I am the only owner of my own emotion and feelings.

Being an owner means I actually get to be in control of how I act and react, feel and think.

I am responsible over what I said to others. I would not hide when there is a problem.

Now, I heard, observed and experienced events that I once thought would crush me. I’m still standing and enjoying every moment of it! As the owner of my own life, I have every right to do something in each situation, good or bad.

Release Your Resentments

2008-01-07T11:59:00.001+08:00

Don't ever allow your resentments tear you apart. Harbouring painful pasts is not going to be good to our heart, body and mind. Piling the resentments against others make us slaves to them. The pain in our hearts is not going to be erased by taking revenge. Plotting revenge is also eating us up, inside out.

The best is, to release all these resentments by refusing to relive what has been tearing us apart. Leave all the pain to the Higher Self.

By doing so, we have released our life from the grip of resentments. We are ready to face the future.

Do Not Judge

2008-01-01T15:38:00.000+08:00

We all hear this every day: Do not judge a book by its cover.

These days, we may not judge a book by its cover but we judge our fellow colleagues, friends, neighbours and even family members by their living status.

We think ourselves more superior than those who live in small houses, drive small cars and shop at economy malls. With what do we measure? How we judge others will eventually be the measure that is used against us.

It is also quite tiring trying to live above others. To do that, we have to be conscious with what we do, say and think. We have lost the freedom to be 'us', we have suddenly become 'examples'. Afterall, to be judges, we have to be faultless in and out.

Step down as judge and start to yourself ....... truly yourself and start living.

It Is Always Now

2007-12-18T12:17:00.000+08:00

Most of the time we tell ourselves to change our habits later. But, ‘later’ is not the correct word. Every moment is actually ‘now’. We just can’t change the type of person we are later, tomorrow or at three o’clock, because it just doesn’t make any sense. It is always ‘now’ or never.

We cannot be dreaming now and decide to be realistic only an hour later. As time never stops, we too would never change, despite what we promised ourselves. We can’t learn anything at a later time if we don’t learn now.

If we should start our lives all over again, make it NOW. The time is always Now, not after dinner nor dessert.

You Are Not Alone

2007-12-13T08:39:00.000+08:00

Remember that you are not alone who is suffering right now. There are many who are suffering at the same time out there. Yet, many do not feel right to succumb to the sufferings. They still appear cheerful and confidence, smiling to everyone they see and meet. They do not complain but extend a helping hand whenever they are needed.

You can be like them. That is why it is good to consider another fellow human suffering from pain as an example. This may help you to be less concern with your suffering, as well as a help to divert your total helplessness for yourself.

If you dare to see, you will know that life is not a smooth ocean. The waves, big or small can be dangerous. People who dare to smile at big waves are sufferers too. They know the pain too well.

Always remember, you are not alone. You have many companions who are walking on the same road and wading through the same pain and sufferings.

Keep Your Chin Up

2007-12-09T15:07:00.000+08:00

Keeping your chin up helps you to look straight forward. You can make eye contacts easily and this helps to build better rapport between you and others.

While keeping your chin up, you are able to see the light better. Then, you are much aware of yourself and others.

Consciousness is around when you dare to keep your chin up!

Help Someone

2007-12-07T17:25:00.001+08:00

What is in it for me?

In the community where I live, helping someone is not an easy task. Community members prefers to mind their own business. Sometimes, help is not even extended to the next door neighbour for fear of unknown troubles later on!

I don't believe that helping others can bring in troubles for myself. I like helping others. I know that extending a helping hand can lighten a burden, maybe, giving a hope to someone else.

Man is not a lone island. Nor is he a separate self. So, anything we do, may in fact effect someelse else.

It is good to encourage others to do better as this is also the same as encouraging ourselves to achieve better. It is also a lift to our otherwise quiet lives. A smile to a sad neighbour may cheer her up, even if we may not know how.

All in all, helping others also help us to grow .......

Be Responsible For Your Own Experience

2007-12-05T08:02:00.000+08:00

It is a shame to turn away whenever we meet a bad experience. Like a caterpillar going through the metamorphosis of becoming a butter, we have to face the bad experiences ourselves.

Be responsible with our own experiences, good or bad, will be a direct expression of who we are. Who we are is exactly what we value in ourselves. By allowing ourselves to feel the real pain and joy, then, we will be able to appreciate ourselves better.

This is the responsibility we should undertake!

"Ninety-nine percent of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses."

– George Washington Carver, Botanist

Get Away, Get Into Your Life

2007-12-04T10:38:00.000+08:00

Just be yourself. If life is a rush, step aside. You have every right to do that. You just can't get through life with lots of anxious thoughts, worries, and unhappiness. Even though you are promised a few million dollars at the end of your journey, just don't do it! You may not even able to finish the journey to enjoy the money!

It is very important to be who you are. Live as though you have all the time in the world. Don't rush. It is useless to rush for something and finds yourself at the wrong end of it. Nobody will appreciate all your effort. What a disappointment!!

Get into your own life. Step into your own world. Be committed to your own goals and dreams.
Be yourself. Be happy.

Are you living for someone else?

2007-05-31T12:40:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, it is difficult to understand ourselves. We do not even seem to know what we want all our lives. We never seem to ask ourselves this simple question .....

"What do I really want in my life?"

If we do ask, then, we never bother with the answer or answers. We are just too busy to see the truth. We are too busy to live up to other's expectation to even care whether we are really happy with what we are doing. In short ..... we are all like that 'Mr. Chen' in the previous post.

We are living for someone else. We are helping other people to achieve their dreams, but ours? We helped other to make decisions, but never ourselves. We are living to please others, but not ourselves.

It is really great to be able to please others. However, we also need to please ourselves. Our lives should not be ....."Everyone should like and approve of me if ...............". Because if so, we are ruining our own lives for the sake of others.

We damage our self-esteems in the long run. We will feel guilty, inadequent and start to blame others what we do not have. As we spent so much time in living for someone else, we have very little time and energy to invest in ourselves.

Are you living for someone else? Are you happy in doing so?

Is the responsibility yours?

2007-05-27T15:51:00.000+08:00

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility for changing them." Denis Waitley

There is an acquaintance, a Mr. Chen. He was born in a family with good background. From young, he lived his life as defined by his parents. Mr. Chen, who grew up to his father's expectation, had no real purpose of his own. He was grateful to his father who had prepared everything for him. So, in order to please his father again, he married the daughter of a wealthy family. That made his proud father even prouder.

For years, Mr. Chen lived in his wife's shadow. She had so many purposes in life. He had not. He went through 30 years of marriage doing things for her. He complaint little and did nothing to improve himself. He envied his wife for being able to do so many things she wanted. When Mr. Chen's wife died last year, his world crumbled. He lost all the force that drove him on throughout the years. He lost his 'purpose' to hang on to life because he did not have one. All day, he mumbles to himself. He seems to be angry with everything and everyone. He looks like a 70 year-old man instead of 50.

That is a sad way to end a life, especially when you have lived that long.

So, get up ...... do not be another Mr. Chen. There are too many Mr. Chens in this world, anyway.

You have the responsibility to change yourself. If you do not have a purpose now, define one. If it does not sound ideal, redefine it .... because if you have a life purpose, nothing will tumble you! Make the changes now so that you would not have any regrets later.

Redefine Your Purpose

2007-05-25T11:40:00.000+08:00

In one of my previous posts, I mentioned about setting a new purpose. Maybe you will have doubts about this.

However, take time to read through the reasons in this list. If you check more than four reasons, you will know what to do!

Something is missing in my life.
I don't feel joy in all I do.
I dislike my present job, but I have other no options.
I want to start something new, but I just don't have the courage to do so.
I can contribute more than I do now.
I have been spending so much time doing 'what I should' and not 'what I want'.
I have been busy doing someone else's work.
I always compare myself to others.
I feel bad when I see others being more successful than I am.
I always try to make things happen rather than to allow things happen.
I don't know what to look for, although I know I lack something
I'm not happy although I seem to have everything.

Not being happy and satisfied can cause stress and depression. If you know you need to do something about it, this is the time.

Hiding behind so many masks is not a good way to be yourself. I have decided to redefine my purpose. I have tried to unmask myself, layer by layer and by doing so, I know I'll reach my purpose easily.

Why Hiding Behind Masks

2007-05-22T14:41:00.000+08:00

Most of us are not really living because we care too much of what others think of us. We always want to please them. We always try to explain what we are doing. In the end, we live as who they want, not who we are supposed to be.

Growing up, many of us did not get to choose what we wanted to be. We had to follow what our parents or families wished us to be. We had to give up dreams, just to satisfy them in order to cause fewer problems for ourselves. We had given up the rights to make decisions for ourselves once, why must we do it again?

Consulting others’ opinions and consulting others to receive approvals are different from each other.

We consult someone’s opinion after making a decision. We have already decided to take the risk. We will take the action even if the feedback is not favourable.

Asking for approval means we are ready to listen to the answers and have not decided yet. If the answers are unfavourable, we will not do anything. This also means we allow others to have a say in our lives. The sense to please others is so great here that we eventually feel paralyze by all the comment others made. We cannot afford to make another step forward and this is a disappointment.

When we have a disappointment, we tend to hide behind a mask. There will be more and more disapointments and then, our masks keep changing. All our entire lives, we have hundred if not thousands of masks. We hide all our feelings behind them, even joys!

When we finally can do something for oour very own, we found that we have lost the courage .... and all those masks cannot help us anymore!

Rediscovering Your Skills

2007-05-22T11:44:00.000+08:00

Like I mentioned before, skills are acquired. Even if you do not know what your talents are, you can still learn skills. A skill is a competency as a result of years of training, experience and education. Anyone can have dozens of skills. Even fixing a small light bulb in the kitchen is a skill!

Some skills are also gifts or talents. Carpentry is a skill for some, but for someone who has artistic abilities, carpentry comes easily. He makes beautiful things with his skill and talent. Some children learn music when they are very young. All parents hope to bring out the musical talent in their children. However, not all children are gifted this way. Some can move gracefully eventhough they may not be able to play any musical instruments. Some are able to sing well, in fact very well after some music lessons ..... these are talents and skills blended together.

Some people have to work very hard in order to get their skills right because they are not gifted. However, due to their hardwork, these skills bring them success and recognitions.

List down your skills now. There are many which you many not remember that you have. These including cooking, cleaning, gardening and even raising children. You can also include some interpersonal skills such as listening, asking questions, motivating, persuading and so on.

List your skills in these categories:

Domestic

Business

Interpersonal

Sel Management

Recreational

You may be able to add more to your list as time goes by.

Rediscovering Your Talents

2007-05-21T10:37:00.000+08:00

We are all blessed with specific gifts or talents. These abilities are very natural with us. These gifts can be our life purposes that would help in fulfilling our beliefs about ourselves.

Some of these gifts are: musical talents, athletic ability, ability with numbers, sense of humour, taste buds, artistic abilities, etc ......

Yet, during our growing up years and then the busyness of building our new lives, we seem to have lost touch of these abilities.

Actually, nobody has only one specific gift. If you are a person with a good sense of humour, then you may also be someone who has ease with people, one who makes friends easily with a cheerful and merry outlook. These are talents in their own rights. Not everyone has the same abilities. Another person with a good sense of humour maybe blessed with a flair in languages, diplomacy and so on.

Let me rephrase .... these talents or special gifts are actually your signature in other people's lives. These talents has made you unique. They give people some impressions about you. Most people remember us what what we did, or do. They do not really recognise us physically, but they recognise our talents.

Check yourself today. Take time to think about your talents or gifts.

New Purposes

2007-05-20T20:11:00.000+08:00

We all live with many sets of purposes in our minds. We have lots of things we want to do before the sun sets every day. It is important to have clear purposes.

Many people live day to day, without a real purpose. Is there something to look forward to today?

We lost our sense of directions when we recovered from a major blow in our lives. We just do not know where to head to. We seem to forget that we still have the talents and gifts. We seem to forget that we all have acquired skills before all the unhappy events happened. We have forgotten that we still have families and friends who care enough to help us through.

Search in your heart, what was your passion before the unhappiness? Why must you let the unhappy event take over your passion? Can you somehow rekindle the passion?

Do you know how compelling passion is? It is able to to create that urgency in you that separates you from the external events of your life. Passion also allows you to live with a sense of purpose! You will be truly alive!

If you somehow cannot rekindle the passion as it may be linked to a painful experience, then, creat a new passion. Be renewed! Have new purposes to live!

Fit in

2007-05-15T11:22:00.000+08:00

It is difficult to fit in a day with nothing interesting to do.

Maybe you can start by sorting out the clothes in your closet, or even the documents lying around the house. Maybe it is time to learn housekeeping again after so long. What about the garden?

Focusing on something to do will take your mind away from unwanted thoughts. You will feel energetic again.

If you need to avoid your friends and neighbours who don't seem to understand you, then don't bother to talk to them. There is no rule that says you must announce everypersonal event to others, not even to your family. If you need the privacy, get it yourself, nobody is going to leave you alone.

It is always difficult to fit in a family if you have nothing to do. You will feel that you are wasted and not contributing. You are afraid what others will say. That's when you feel depressed. You start to feel that everyone is giving you the pressure to achieve something. You can even hear them whispering about you behind your back. (The truth is, nobody does that!)

Get all the rest you need the first few days. Some go for a short vacation. Some prefer to stay at home, minding his or her own business. Nobody can tell you what to do. It is all up to you.

Then, maybe it is time to re-live yourself again. At the juntion, choose a road you want to go. It may be difficult, but if you focus on the solutions, there should be problems at all.

Learn A New Skill

2007-05-14T12:50:00.000+08:00

Skills are acquired, not born. That's my principle.

I remember a few of my former retired colleagues signed up for computer classes the week after their retirement. Sad to say, they did not attend any of the classes eventhough they paid for them. I did not ask as that would seem impolite. Someone realted to me that these 'senior citizens' as they called themselves were burned out. I did not believe that.

In one of my macro photography classes, there is a 'senior citizen' too. He is almost 70. He bought a low end digital camera and attended my classes faithfully. He even follows us to many outings in the parks around the city. He makes it a point to show me his work. I know he is proud of his results. I am proud of him, because he has found a skill. He told us the other day that he has taken a few pictures of his grandchildren. His family displays the pictures all over the house. He is now a proud owner of a new DSLR which he does not know how to operate! A gift from his children as a graduation gift.

My father reads a lot of books on health after his retirement. He buys books and even goes to secondhand bookshops to get these books. He is forever excited with his treasures. I also wish that these books are in English Language so that I can also read them ...... Now, he has plenty of time to read them and to put them in practice.

My mother is already a very good cook. After her retirement, I can say .... she cooks better. She can even cook any food by just looking at the name! She has of course, a great collection of recipes!

There is never an end to all one can do ......... Start living again.

Wake Early

2007-05-14T10:53:00.000+08:00

I think the best way to start your day is to wake early. Look out your window and take a deep breath of the morning fresh air.
It would be better if you can even see the sun rises. It always fills me with a new hope for that day.
Join in the morning walk or exercise with your neighbours. They are always there, weekends and weekdays.