To Fail is to Start Over Again

There are so many wise sayings about how we must start again after a failure. Yes, nobody stays as a loser all the time. Even a loser wins once a while.

An acquaintance once failed in his own business. He used up all his savings to start new businesses, one after another. These businesses failed too.

He almost gave up when a friend of his offered him a job as a franchise adviser. As he had a family to support, he accepted the offer. He made lots of mistakes when he started the job. Other younger franchise advisers thought he was eccentric and avoided him altogether.

He tried various means to get himself ready for the challenges of the job. He practically memorized the handbook and all the information given to him. He was in desperate trying to do well.

The toil was really stressful. He lost his humor and friendly smile. He stared at everyone with an empty glare. He did not know what went wrong with him. His boss was happy as he could bring in more customers than usual. His family was happy as he could bring home money. Yet, he was not happy.

One day his young daughter borrowed a story book from the town library. She left it on the dinner table. He picked it up and browse through it. He was amused with the simple story. However, he was attracted by a line at the end of the story ......

"If you have failed, then start over again. After all, failing means you have a good chance to come clean again."

This acquaintance smiled for the first time in three years. It was like his mind was cleared for the first time in years. He bought the franchise for himself and became a business owner again. Only this time, he knew he could always begin all over again as long as he did not give up hope.

Which would you choose: start all over again or mourn over your losses?

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So, Another Failure – Get Better or Bitter?

Many people have forgotten that failures occurred because they have not prepared themselves extensively for the tasks. Whether it is business, family or personal, every matter needs planning. Maybe the masters were right after all, 'If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.'

We just do not fail accidentally. There must be certain reasons behind the failures.

Moaning for a past failure seems to be an endless game we like to play with ourselves. We ought to feel bitter because we fail, yet to allow the bitterness to get into our lives is totally another story. When will we get the chance to move on if the past keeps on catching up with the present?

There are many ways to make ourselves feel better. One of them is to walk out of the bitterness. Analyze the reasons why you failed, if you must. Then forget all about it. The sun is still going to rise again tomorrow. There is no reason to feel bitter.

Life is hard enough without you brooding about your failures. People are failing every minute of the day. Yet, they pick up where they failed and start over again. It does not matter if you walk three steps forward but move two steps backwards; because you are still a step forward! Bravo!

Learn your lessons and know where you are heading!

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Who are you – the listener or the talker?

When I was young, I listened to every grown-up I met. My parents said children ought to listen more than talk. I took the advice by heart. I listened politely as the grown-ups rattled on and on. Some of their stories were quite interesting. However, some just loved to complain.

Growing up, I came to understand the value of ‘more listening than talking’. A listener learns more than the speaker. Listening helps us to discern between right and wrong. The rule of ‘two ears and a mouth’ means that we must listen twice more than we talk. A good listener is actually a silent flatterer.

What did succesful people do that made them instoppable?

No guessing. They listened. They listened to know what others want. They listened carefully to every complain they received. They did not once make any comment or criticism because they did not have to. They showed to others that they cared because they listened. They learned what others missed.

A talker likes to listen to his own voice. The louder he talks, he lonier he will be. In the end, the has landed himself in hot soup! It is just like a child would say, “When you open your mouth too long, your brains will fly out!”

Learn from the wise owl :

A wise old owl sat on an oak,

The more he saw the less he spoke,

The less he spoke the more he heard,

Why aren’t we like that wise old owl?

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Handle Discouragement Effectively (4)

Whenever we face discouragement, we often have low expectations of ourselves to overcome our problems. Thus, we often neglect to find the solution to our problems. Instead, we delay and drag the problem to another level.

Having and possessing the right expectations is important. A positive person often sets realistic goals for himself. He does not waste his time reflecting on his mistakes should he fails. He forgives himself for his limitations and moves on with his life as soon as possible.

He knows what to expect because he only focus on what he can achieve. Thus, he is not disappointed if he fails. He is not depressed, anxious and obsessed with the ‘need to impress others’.

You too, can handle your own discouragement. A right expectation can help you to achieve what you want in life. Set for yourself realistic goals at first. Identify what you can achieve and what you cannot.

Later, you can set some daring and unrealistic goals. By then, you have possessed a better attitude to handle failures.

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Handle Discouragement Effectively (3)

Positive Self Talk

Do you talk to yourself? Are those messages positive or negative? How do you feel after listening to your own negative messages?

What you say to yourself when you feel discourage is going affect your thoughts. When you start listening to your own negative self-talk, you will end up believing that you are a failure. This will become a major discouragement!

We all have a habit to allow our past to catch up on us. When that happens, we tend to slow down and allow negative thoughts to control us. Thus, we do not feel positive about our future.

Saying the right things to yourself will help you to think positively and cultivate a positive attitude towards people and circumstances around you. Find the phrases and words that you feel comfortable with.

Be reminded, as you are self-talking; you need to choose words and phrases that are positively motivating. This is so to motivate yourself to a positive direction.

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Know Your Purpose

Do you have a purpose?

Download this recorded audio and listen what the expert says about having a purpose

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Handle Discouragement Effectively (2)

Who would you rather be with? A good friend who whines and complains of every good and bad time or an acquaintance who enlightens you with new knowledge? Do you know who successful people like to be with? Yes, they like to be with people who encourage and enlighten them.

One method to handle discouragement is to be with the right people. Be with the people who make you feel good about yourself. These people are able to lift you up and cheer you along the way. In short, they are the ones who greet you and wait patiently for your reply.

These people are all around you. Identify them fast. They have great attitudes toward life. They do not blame others for the discouragements or failures they face in their lives. They believe that there is a bend in every road; and after the bend, there are new opportunities.

Be with them and be like them...

Focus 2009

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Winning Attitude for 2009

Listen and Change

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Handle Discouragement Effectively (1)

Some people see discouragement as temporary. They believe that the feeling will go away very soon. They know how to handle this feeling so that they are able to bounce back from nearly anything.

How can you deal with discouragement?

You need to possess the right perspective.

Look at the problem as an outsider and identify the fault or weakness. Stop mourning for the drawback. When you recognize the problem, focus on the solution.

If you believe there is no solution to the problem, do something positive. Instead of blaming yourself or others for the failure, go on with your life. Try to discover your own opportunities by studying other successful people. Successful people do not stop long to wonder why they failed. They bounced back easily because of their great attitudes.

There are positive possibilities even in negative circumstances. It is always a matter of knowing where to look at. You do not need a full glass of water to quench your thirst when a half glass of water is enough. Adopt a right perspective to find your opportunities.

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